迎國慶，野球群第N次比賽

今天是國慶的前一天，天陰沈沈的，還下著點點的小雨，提前從自習教室回來，換上裝備去球場。
今天踢球的是幾個附近體育大學的學生，個個都是高高寬寬，不過配合沒有意識，技術也比較粗放，完全不如我們，我作爲右後衛，不停的把他們的那個前鋒斷球，再過了他，有時候他們邊一些人看不下去了就沖上來要飛鏟我，可惜我都把他們過掉了，那種輕松寬容的感覺真爽，也是，按年齡比他們這些從小缺乏母愛的八十年代末出生的孩子要大很多，讓讓他們了，呵呵。後來他們邊一個胖子輸不起，把我們邊一個中場鏟飛了，也因此起了爭執，我很有風度充滿感情的語重心長的上前去教育了他們，他們都很慚愧，低著頭離開了球場，我望著他們遠去的背景，心中感慨萬千，他們還是孩子啊。 這個宇宙再次恢複了和平。
國慶快樂！穗安從廣州過來玩，今晚去撮去。

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昨晚巴薩平了，國米輸了

賽前，有兩個人在爲不來梅出謀劃策，他們對巴薩都非常了解。一個就是範伯梅爾，他給出了兩條計策，一是必須看死小羅，“巴薩有很多的巨星，但巨星中的巨星是小羅納爾多，皮球一旦到了他的腳下，就連他的隊友也不知道他下一個動作會是什麽。”其實巴薩只有範伯梅爾一個人不知道小羅的下一個動作是什麽，以至始終無法融入裏傑卡爾德的隊伍裏面吧。。。
曼奇尼還不如庫伯，其他不想說了，唉

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星新一與愛倫坡，投射到我們內心的鏡子

今天和L君聊起小說，忽然想起自己最喜歡的兩個小說家，一個以創作反映作者所處年代社會現實的日本的“軟科幻”作品而聞名，另外一個則無疑是強調“爲藝術而藝術”，試圖在現實之外重構幻想的小說家，現代偵探小說的祖師，兩者似乎沒有相同之處。
更甚至，在星新一的作品裏面，不可能找到莫格街凶殺案裏面的暴力場景，如作家自己在《創作的道路》（日本新潮社，1979 ）所說，也既是他的創作三原則。而相對而言，愛倫坡則在一百多年前則提醒人們關注自己內在的恐懼與分裂的情緒，盡管那不是他的目的，我想象。現在讀起《一分鍾小說選》或者《愛倫坡恐怖短篇故事集》，還是會覺得出作品的時代性，雖然你很明顯的知道，那不是我們的年代，但是也無法確定那是個什麽年代，盡管星新一故事裏面常常以現代日本公司作爲故事發生的背景，或者以對科技和大衆傳媒的擔憂作爲基調，但是正如高山族的一個射日的傳說（傳說中可以將太陽用箭射落，但是要翻越幾十年旅程的高山）一樣，那是一些將無比的超人力和看似矛盾的弱小現實結合的故事，讓人感到熟悉又陌生。同樣的，愛倫坡有意的將想象力投射到遠離美國的遙遠巴黎《莫》，或者荒落的蘇裏文島《金甲蟲》，不能看作是偵探小說必須的設置，倒可以認爲是愛倫坡希望讀者在分析和閱讀那些玄疑故事的時候，能不借助自己的生活經驗，而是全憑藉推理。也既是說，他們都希望讀者能夠完全進入自己設置的場景，體會那種恒古不變的人的內心特質，一種常常被誤打上時代與階級烙印的人性。他們超越了時代，將人類的心理曆史投射在同一個坐標上點上。
星新一的東西，一些文學評論家喜歡帶上道德功能，作家的原則與作品的道德功能，並不能完全畫等號，或者說，我是在試圖在逃離階級性的分析他的作品。促使我將兩位作家聯想起來的，是兩者作品幻想出的那種有時候讓人陰郁，讓人感到自己處在單獨的空間，那種與大世界隔絕的獨立心境下的體會。我承認有時候那會讓人發狂和恐懼。比如星新一一個小說裏面描寫的午夜時分電視的雪花樣屏幕裏面被囚禁的少女，或者愛倫坡在《寫在羊皮紙上的遺囑》裏面律師在老夫人臨死前的對她最後遺囑的守衛--當然，按照愛倫坡最後的揭秘，應該是老夫人主動設計的，所有這些，讓人在閱讀的時候無法不進入那個似乎只爲了那幾個人設計的世界，狹窄窒息，讓人摒住呼吸，在看完最後一個字的時候，好像是終于從作者精心編導的故事中醒來，如釋重負。
微型小說和短篇小說，對“在那個時刻”的描寫，要永遠放在人物的刻畫之上，不過魯迅是一個例外。忽然想到那麽多了，都是一些瞎話。

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貼幾張在白雲的網友貼出來的熊貓

簡直太可愛了，驚爲天人！

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潛味音樂電台再度開張

captain dajun's famous radio, after two years' silence, now come back and is ready to serve up the joy of listening. the very knowledge djyao once bring to me, is the corrective pronunciations of the names of many artists, whose are sometimes bizarre and weird to me. now the 132nd broadcast of the radio, which as the new commencement is already on the web.

so you can hit the picture of the dashboard below and track down the sonar, have fun!

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諜中諜3

一直以來懷疑自己屬于那種自以爲是的惹人討厭的小子，在同學們都緊張的張開嘴巴看阿湯扮演的特工隊長ethan被拷打的時候站在最後面添加無聊的解釋，在最後他老婆julie幫他人工呼吸的時候忍不住笑出聲來，說了句“吹錯地方了”，終于換來了同學們一頓正義的老拳，挖哈哈笑的好開心－－我是不是有受虐傾向阿。。。
一直認爲看這種所謂blockbuster是娛樂神經，很多人也都貶過n次的電影，我也就不再附和以顯示品味了，不過MI3至少糾正了我一個醫學常識，就是關于腎上腺素，我以前一直以爲是精液的意思，哦哦哦！！！先自己伸個舌頭，哈哈。我承認當我看到lindsey被注射腎上腺素到心髒的時候，難以置信的張開了嘴巴。。。要知道我以前在公園裏坐太空飛梭的時候，總是覺得“腎上腺素猛增”，現在知道勒，那不是精液。
真是幽默自己來的。

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absolutely busy recently!

still,i make my time to surf and i found many interesting new feature's in beta,should i switches to beta and add some web 2.0(gee it's so hot these days,every body around me is talk'in about it!)function is quite a fair of mess cause i just use the rest of my time gettin' ready for the exam which is in the sight of days as it goes by!
however, i do sign up for a new beta account as you will go in the LINK, more new function to be added maybe,if i get free in the national's day.and while the beta's templates is somewhat a mess in the present,i decide to use classical templates as this blog temporary
by the way, e-classical is about to put up new program of jazz named "jazz avenue"--爵士大道(i have no idea if it was titled this in english),this program will be on every sunday afternoon,at 4~5 p.m. and every month Shen the host will choose a topic along with a famous jazz artist. new program will be launched on the national's day(have no idea, or maybe it's just a coincident that it will come the first time at oct. 1,since it's a taipei radio),i vote for three songs as you guys will will see shown in the my beta blogger, hilarious!
this monday i had a interview by my friend k's father, a famous professor of hust's IPRAI, head of Artificial Intelligence Group, and i have a profound impression of some technology of this field. i have the will of doing research in the lab, schedule for work?i don't even want to talk about it in the three few years.

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想用中文，杜撰一些異事

想如博爾赫斯一樣，寫一些大名鼎鼎的人物和發生在那個特定年代的奇異的事情，瘋狂的，激動人心的，殘忍的，也或許是失之公正的，由于《惡棍列傳》裏面的就算不是百分之一百的曆史實情，至少一些經曆都是廣爲流傳下來的，也就是有“目擊者”的，而這個對于我這個只端著書本的人來說，寫實就要求過高了。又至于曆史上很多驚心動魄的事情，結尾常常無法與讀者被激起的巨大想象相匹配，是寫實的可惜。
在美國曆史上六七十年代重新興起的反種族歧視運動起帶頭作用的那些藝術家，是如何爭取自己的權利的？解決這些問題，除了必不可少的翻閱參考書，還需要杜撰一個小說，把那些無法解釋的空白，用自己的觀點與想象來填充，算是對于自己內心主觀好惡的偏愛吧。
馬克吐溫也曾回應某個古怪的觀點，即莎士比亞全集是否真是William Shakespeare這個中産階級家庭裏的一個不成功的小人物創作的呢？
那麽，在比較愉快的態度下，故事就要比真實的曆史要有趣的多了。

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陈珊妮〈一個祇有屁股的人〉

他喜歡摘下許多星星　　丟在公共廁所的馬桶裡面
把它們沖掉　　　　　　或者淹死
頭卻忘了離開　　　　　變成一個只有屁股的人
我說快點沖水　　　　　也洗不乾淨他的嘴
哪裡是他的嘴　　　　　其實無所謂
為了一個只有屁股的人

知道自己早餐吃了什麼
知道自己的晚餐變成了什麼
不知道早餐的報紙是什麼
不知道自己變成晚餐的什麼

他們不知道他們失去了，什麼

来自专辑《当坏人还没变坏的晚上》

播放：一個祇有屁股的人

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Albert Ayler--The Truth Is Marching In

all copyright control of "downbeat magazine"

11/17/1966


In a restaurant-bar in Greenwich Village, tenor saxophonist Albert Ayler was ruminating on the disparity between renown and income. In his case, anyway. Covers of his albums are prominent in the windows of more and more jazz record stores; references to him are increasingly frequent in jazz magazines, here and abroad; a growing number of players are trying to sound like him.

"I'm a new star, according to a magazine in England," Ayler said, "and I don't even have fare to England. Record royalties? I never see any. Oh, maybe I'll get $50 this year. One of my albums, Ghosts, won an award in Europe. And the company didn't even tell me about that. I had to find out another way."

All this is said in a soft voice and with a smile but not without controlled exasperation. Bitterness would be too strong a term for the Ayler speaking style. He is concerned with inner peace and tries to avoid letting the economic frustrations of the jazz life corrode him emotionally. It's not easy to remain calm, but Ayler so far appears to be.

In manner, he is reminiscent of John Lewis of the Modern Jazz Quartet--a gentle exterior with a will of steel, a shy laugh, and a constant measuring of who you are and what you want. Ayler's younger brother, trumpeter Don, is taller, equally serious, and somewhat less given to smiling.
"I went for a long time without work," Albert said. "Then George Wein asked me to come to Europe with a group of other people for 11 days starting Nov. 3. I hope to be able to add five or six days on my own after I'm there. Henry Grimes and Sunny Murray will be with Don and me. But before I heard from Wein, I'd stopped practicing for three weeks. I was going through a thing. Here I am in Time, in Vogue, in other places. But no work. My spirits were very low."
"That's what they call the testing period," Don volunteered. "First you get exploited while the music is being examined to see if it has any value. Then when they find there's an ideology behind it, that there's substance to it, they'll accept it as a new form."

"What is its ideology?" I asked.

"To begin with," Albert answered, "we are the music we play. And our commitment is to peace, to understanding of life. And we keep trying to purify our music, to purify ourselves, so that we can move ourselves--and those who hear us--to higher levels of peace and understanding. You have to purify and crystallize your sound in order to hypnotize. I'm convinced, you see, that through music, life can be given more meaning. And every kind of music has an influence--either direct or indirect--on the world around it so that after a while the sounds of different types of music go around and bring about psychological changes. And we're trying to bring about peace. In his way, for example, that's what Coltrane, too, is trying to do.

"To accomplish this, I must have spiritual men playing with me. Since we are the music we play, our way of life has to be clean or else the music can't be kept pure."

This meant, he continued, that he couldn't work with someone addicted to narcotics or who otherwise is emotionally unstable.

"I couldn't use a man hung up with drugs, because he'd draw from the energy we need to concentrate on the music," Ayler said. "Fortunately, I've never had that problem. I need people who are clear in their minds as well as in their music, people whose thought waves are positive. You must know peace to give peace."

I asked the brothers about the primary influence on their music.
"Lester Young," Albert answered. "The way he connected his phrases. The freedom with which he flowed. And his warm tone. When he and Billie Holiday got together, there was so much beauty. These are the kind of people who produce a spiritual truth beyond this civilization. And Bird, of course. I met him in 1955 in Cleveland, where they were calling me 'Little Bird.' I saw the spiritual quality in the man. He looked at me, smiled, and shook my hand. It was a warm feeling. I was impressed by the way he--and later, Trane--played the changes.

"There was also Sidney Bechet. I was crazy about him. His tone was unbelievable. It helped me a lot to learn that a man could get that kind of tone. It was hypnotizing--the strength of it, the strength of the vibrato. For me, he represented the true spirit, the full force of life, that many of the older musicians had--like in New Orleans jazz--and which many musicians today don't have. I hope to bring that spirit back into the music we're playing."

"The thing about New Orleans jazz," Don broke in, "is the feeling it communicated that something was about to happen, and it was going to be good."

"Yes," Albert said, "and we're trying to do for now what people like Louis Armstrong did at the beginning. Their music was a rejoicing. And it was beauty that was going to happen. As it was at the beginning, so will it be at the end."

I asked the brothers how they would advise people to listen to their music.
"One way not to," Don said, "is to focus on the notes and stuff like that. Instead, try to move your imagination toward the sound. It's a matter of following the sound."

"You have to relate sound to sound inside the music," Albert said. "I mean you have to try to listen to everything together."

"Follow the sound," Don repeated, "the pitches, the colors. You have to watch them move."
"This music is good for the mind," Albert continued. "It frees the mind. If you just listen, you find out more about yourself.

"It's really free, spiritual music, not just free music. And as for playing it, other musicians worry about what they're playing. But we're listening to each other. Many of the others are not playing together, and so they produce noise. It's screaming, it's neo-avant-garde music. But we are trying to rejuvenate that old New Orleans feeling that music can be played collectively and with free form. Each person finds his own form.

"Why," I asked, "did bop seem too constricting to you?"
"For me," Albert said, "it was like humming along with Mitch Miller. It was too simple. I'm an artist. I've lived more than I can express in bop terms. Why should I hold back the feeling of my life, of being raised in the ghetto of America? It's a new truth now. And there have to be new ways of expressing that truth. And, as I said, I believe music can change people. When bop came, people acted differently than they had before. Our music should be able to remove frustration, to enable people to act more freely, to think more freely.

"You see, everyone is screaming 'Freedom,' but mentally, everyone is under a great strain. But now the truth is marching in, as it once marched back in New Orleans. And that truth is that there must be peace and joy on earth. Music really is the universal language, and that's why it can be such a force. Words, after all, are only music.

"I'm encouraged about the music to come," Albert said. "There are musicians all over the States who are ready to play free spiritual music. You've got to get ready for the truth, because it's going to happen. And listen to Coltrane and Pharaoh Sanders. They're playing free now. We need all the help we can get. That Ascension is beautiful! Consider Coltrane. There's one of the older guys who was playing bebop but who can feel the spirit of what's happening now. He's trying to reach another peace level. This is a beautiful person, a highly spiritual brother. Imagine being able in one lifetime to move from the kind of peace he found in bebop to a new peace."
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jamblu's edit:
albert ayler in childhood(pic cite from http://www.espdisk.com)

As a teen Ayler played with such skill that he was known around as "Little Bird"

about his death, they found his body in the new york city's east river, nov 25, 1970. was he commit suicide or was murdered because of some political reason(he got involved into the black power movement) will be a forever enigma, who never can tell.

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the last time i have the injection at the clinic

it's 1th, september today and the autumn semester's start. i sit in the yellow light beam of a autumn sun by the glass door of the clinic this afternoon, seeing flocks of fresh newbies swirling around the campus, laughs with them.

i still think it is like yesterday when i enter the gate of the campus as a freshman six years ago, i should have thirsted for more, and earned more when i was a student of here then. it is just like the story is not come to the end and that's why i work years and decided to come back here. i want to like the book as i once was, and i want to like the life like what i was used to be. once a girl told me, time is the most precious gift we get from life, and we ought to cherish it. though the reason why i was lost and failed myself is not important anymore, i took the word she gave me as the only thing she left behind, but it's just when i graduated and work like a dog, i gradually understand the word, and that's why i made up my mind to come back to school, pick up the books and live the school life from the breakpoint where i set four years before.

i hope for a happier future.

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